New Year’s Resolution #85

Hi, all. Well, this New Year I’ve decided I want to try to write in this blog more. I miss online journalling, and the conversations it inspires. So I’m going to post the links to my new posts on my Facebook, in a very limited list. If you got here from that, please don’t share my blog without my permission beforehand. Thanks.

This New Year I’ve actually been making lots of resolutions. I need lots of projects to work on and things to look forward to, because once again we’ve been hit with an unexpected blow–end of pregnancy #2. This time I got to 8 1/2 weeks, everything seemingly going fine, and then an early “reassurance” ultrasound said no heartbeat. That was a couple weeks before Christmas, and I had no symptoms for weeks. Yesterday I started a round of herbs prescribed by a local herbalist, and today I think the physical part is starting. A two-part sadness.

I thought I had wrapped my brain around it by now, have had weeks to process it “abstractly”, but the physical aspect of it is starting to hit me in a more tangibly emotional way. Uncool.

So I’ve been trying to think of this New Year as a Fresh Start, with lots of projects. I want to learn to sew. (Although whenever I sew, it becomes apparent that I do not really like to sew. Hmmmm…) I want to teach myself to like to sew. I want to figure out how to be a better gardener, start planning earlier. I want to lose the few extra pounds from being pregnant and then depressed on and off since August; my pants are all tight. And of course, I want to write in this blog more.

One wonderful, serendipitous thing we’ve been doing lately is going up to volunteer at a local animal sanctuary called Springfarm Cares. That is where I adopted Bean, and it’s a wonderful place. They had an Open House on December 21st, and you could go in all the rooms and visit everyone. It was a great party, and David and I filled out our volunteer application that night. Since then, we’ve been up a few more times, to sit with the cats and help socialize them, visit with them. But really, it is intensely mutually beneficial. A lot of them need human attention, but we definitely love extra cat attention. So many different personalities, so many new cat friends to make. I hope to write more about them in this space as our volunteer adventure continues.

I also hope to use this forum more like Livejournal used to be, for those of you who remember that. Facebook just feels too wide-open sometimes, even with filters . So please, feel free to comment and let me know how you’re doing too.

<3,

Ami

 

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3 Responses to New Year’s Resolution #85

  1. Amelia says:

    Sweet Ami –
    I am so sorry for your loss – what an awful thing. I hope days start getting brighter for you.
    I have been processing a lot lately – trying to deal with some tough emotional shit. The wedding is bringing up a ton of things – most good, some difficult. I think sometimes about writing it down – maybe it would help. I’m glad you’re writing through your rough days. Love to you & David & cats.
    xoxo
    Amelia

  2. Tasha says:

    It’s nice to hear your voice again. I’m so sorry about your loss. *hugs*

    The magic of the new year truly is starting over. Your volunteer gig sounds pretty great! May 2013 bring both of you more reasons for joy.

  3. Oh please, please, 2013, bring joy to Ami and David.

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